Where Have I Been?

Do me a favor and watch this. 12:35 am NBC. Thanks.

 

Trust me, you'll like it. Love it, even.

 

My Fabulous Life

INT: OFFICE- NIGHT

JED and BRIANNA stare at Nymag.com trying to figure out where to go to dinner.

BRIANNA

Should we really go to Benihana?

JED

I don’t know…

BRIANNA

It is such a commitment…

JED

Yeah…

BRIANNA

Both to the food and the experience.

 

How to Succeed

I’m into classy things… Film, fine wine, cheeses, cashmere sweaters, art with a message, dogs that require special grooming, auctions, and the like… So don’t ever try to serve me a drink, unless it is served in a cactus shaped cup.

Thank you.

 

Octomomma

I think it is fairly public knowledge now that Miss Octomomma has been offered one million dollars to pose for playboy, and I can’t help but be completely baffled by the offer. First off, she looks like a bizarro Angelina Jolie, and second, after having seven million kids, nobody’s gonna wanna see what she’s working with. 

I know this is terrible, and I am shaming both myself and women everywhere by giving into arbitrary standards of beauty set by people who have no right to set them, and I know that childbirth and mommahood are beautiful things, but still. That is some shiz I don’t think anyone wants to see. Her vajayjay has been through enough. Does it really have to be fluffed and pampered for public display, and the ridicule that will most likely come with it?

I mean, come on…

 

Reminiscing…

Remember when it was stylish for little boys to dance? I feel like there was a very specific moment in time when kids dancing was totally vogue. (Not the Madonna foreshadowing via pun.) This specific time keeps recurring throughout history, ie: Missy Elliot’s video’s from a couple years ago and that time Alfonso Ribeiro danced with Michael Jackson, and I have to say I am a fan of it. Let’s bring that back people.

In the meantime, here’s Madonna dancing with a little boy while singing “Get into the Groove.”

 

Something’s Different…

I haven’t spilled food on myself in at least a month… What’s going on here?

 

Jealous?

Book + Chocolate Cake+ Giant Glass of Water = Best Wednesday Night Ever

 

I Want to Go to There

 

I Want to Go to There

Have you ever said to yourself, “Hey, self, I wonder what kind of place Brianna could sit in for the rest of her life and be completely content?” If so, it is your lucky day. My lucky day too, cause I can now proudly say that I have found paradise. The sad news is paradise, also known as Pipilotti Rist’s new MOMA installation “Pour Your Body Out,” is only open until February 2nd, so you don’t have too much longer to go to there.

The installation consists of a giant open space with projection screens lining the walls playing looping colorful videos, and a big, plush circular couch sitting in the center. The windows into other wings of the MOMA are covered with pink curtains that match the colorful pink throw pillows placed throughout the room. Music that can only be described as “Whale Songs” hums ambiently in the background, and the whole point (from my humble interpretation) is to be as comf comf as possible. 

The city can be a really intense place, so if you have a free afternoon, mosey on over to MOMA, take off your shoes, and get ready to relax. If you don’t want to relax, you can at least go and see what my idea of paradise is. That should be interesting… for a couple minutes… I think.

 

Olive Garden + Keira = :)

If you live in NYC, or in the greater metropolitan area, you probably have noticed the onslaught of Olive Garden commercials taking over the airways. Now, when it comes to television advertising, most people can turn a blind eye. I, on the other hand can’t, and in the spirit of admitting my weaknesses, I am happy to report that I gave in to the ads and dragged some friend’s to one of New York’s two Olive Garden locations.

Coming from a family that NEVER ate at these types of places, I was beyond pleasantly surprised. The food was absolutely wonderful, and our waitress was top notch. Her name was Keira, and I promised I would write about her….. And by promised, I mean proclaimed to her mid-meal that I was gonna blog about her whether she liked it or not. I know, creeper.com. Consider Weakness #2 admitted. 

Miss Keira gave us a sweet wine rec (and some for free) and when we invited her to join our table, she actually considered it. That is good people. She is also gonna get her SAG or AFTRA or Equity card (we never found out exactly) soon, so hooray for her!

Bottom line, if you’ve been watching a ton of TV lately and holding out on trying the Chicken Gnocchi Soup advertised at every commercial break on every station, give in. You won’t regret it. And if you do, you probably weren’t served by Kiera.

 

Back by Not-Quite-Popular Demand

Blah Blah… I haven’t written in forever… Blah Blah

I want to dedicate this post to Bridget and Kerry, as they dragged me out of blogging hibernation, therefore making this post possible today. You two are gems, and the whole world thanks you. All of it. Now, I will get serious about this blog rebirth tomorrow, but in the meantime, here’s a picture of three baby wolves.

BYE!!!!!

 

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