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Do me a favor and watch this. 12:35 am NBC. Thanks.

 

Trust me, youll like it. Love it, even.

Trust me, you'll like it. Love it, even.

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INT: OFFICE- NIGHT

JED and BRIANNA stare at Nymag.com trying to figure out where to go to dinner.

BRIANNA

Should we really go to Benihana?

JED

I don’t know…

BRIANNA

It is such a commitment…

JED

Yeah…

BRIANNA

Both to the food and the experience.

I’m into classy things… Film, fine wine, cheeses, cashmere sweaters, art with a message, dogs that require special grooming, auctions, and the like… So don’t ever try to serve me a drink, unless it is served in a cactus shaped cup.

cactusThank you.

I think it is fairly public knowledge now that Miss Octomomma has been offered one million dollars to pose for playboy, and I can’t help but be completely baffled by the offer. First off, she looks like a bizarro Angelina Jolie, and second, after having seven million kids, nobody’s gonna wanna see what she’s working with. 

I know this is terrible, and I am shaming both myself and women everywhere by giving into arbitrary standards of beauty set by people who have no right to set them, and I know that childbirth and mommahood are beautiful things, but still. That is some shiz I don’t think anyone wants to see. Her vajayjay has been through enough. Does it really have to be fluffed and pampered for public display, and the ridicule that will most likely come with it?

I mean, come on…

Remember when it was stylish for little boys to dance? I feel like there was a very specific moment in time when kids dancing was totally vogue. (Not the Madonna foreshadowing via pun.) This specific time keeps recurring throughout history, ie: Missy Elliot’s video’s from a couple years ago and that time Alfonso Ribeiro danced with Michael Jackson, and I have to say I am a fan of it. Let’s bring that back people.

In the meantime, here’s Madonna dancing with a little boy while singing “Get into the Groove.”

I haven’t spilled food on myself in at least a month… What’s going on here?

Book + Chocolate Cake+ Giant Glass of Water = Best Wednesday Night Ever

perfect-night

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