I think it is fairly public knowledge now that Miss Octomomma has been offered one million dollars to pose for playboy, and I can’t help but be completely baffled by the offer. First off, she looks like a bizarro Angelina Jolie, and second, after having seven million kids, nobody’s gonna wanna see what she’s working with. 

I know this is terrible, and I am shaming both myself and women everywhere by giving into arbitrary standards of beauty set by people who have no right to set them, and I know that childbirth and mommahood are beautiful things, but still. That is some shiz I don’t think anyone wants to see. Her vajayjay has been through enough. Does it really have to be fluffed and pampered for public display, and the ridicule that will most likely come with it?

I mean, come on…