I Want to Go to There

I Want to Go to There

Have you ever said to yourself, “Hey, self, I wonder what kind of place Brianna could sit in for the rest of her life and be completely content?” If so, it is your lucky day. My lucky day too, cause I can now proudly say that I have found paradise. The sad news is paradise, also known as Pipilotti Rist’s new MOMA installation “Pour Your Body Out,” is only open until February 2nd, so you don’t have too much longer to go to there.

The installation consists of a giant open space with projection screens lining the walls playing looping colorful videos, and a big, plush circular couch sitting in the center. The windows into other wings of the MOMA are covered with pink curtains that match the colorful pink throw pillows placed throughout the room. Music that can only be described as “Whale Songs” hums ambiently in the background, and the whole point (from my humble interpretation) is to be as comf comf as possible. 

The city can be a really intense place, so if you have a free afternoon, mosey on over to MOMA, take off your shoes, and get ready to relax. If you don’t want to relax, you can at least go and see what my idea of paradise is. That should be interesting… for a couple minutes… I think.

If you live in NYC, or in the greater metropolitan area, you probably have noticed the onslaught of Olive Garden commercials taking over the airways. Now, when it comes to television advertising, most people can turn a blind eye. I, on the other hand can’t, and in the spirit of admitting my weaknesses, I am happy to report that I gave in to the ads and dragged some friend’s to one of New York’s two Olive Garden locations.

Coming from a family that NEVER ate at these types of places, I was beyond pleasantly surprised. The food was absolutely wonderful, and our waitress was top notch. Her name was Keira, and I promised I would write about her….. And by promised, I mean proclaimed to her mid-meal that I was gonna blog about her whether she liked it or not. I know, creeper.com. Consider Weakness #2 admitted. 

Miss Keira gave us a sweet wine rec (and some for free) and when we invited her to join our table, she actually considered it. That is good people. She is also gonna get her SAG or AFTRA or Equity card (we never found out exactly) soon, so hooray for her!

Bottom line, if you’ve been watching a ton of TV lately and holding out on trying the Chicken Gnocchi Soup advertised at every commercial break on every station, give in. You won’t regret it. And if you do, you probably weren’t served by Kiera.

Blah Blah… I haven’t written in forever… Blah Blah

I want to dedicate this post to Bridget and Kerry, as they dragged me out of blogging hibernation, therefore making this post possible today. You two are gems, and the whole world thanks you. All of it. Now, I will get serious about this blog rebirth tomorrow, but in the meantime, here’s a picture of three baby wolves.



Youre Welcome

You're Welcome

The following is an open letter to anyone having ANY involvement with Heidi from The Hills.

Dear Unlucky Person,

After watching Monday’s episode of The Hills, I am desperate to do anything (within reason) to expose Spencer as the douchebag extraordinaire that he is, so that Heidi can move on with her life. The way Spencer spoke to Heidi’s mother was inexcusable. It’s okay that Heidi wants to date a lazy, no good, snarky, butt head, but does she really want to date a lazy, no good, snarky butt head who is mean to moms? When he was talking to Mrs. Montag at the lunch table, you could practically feel the venom spitting out from his abnormally small teeth, and I am not going to sit back and watch this without taking action.

Have you ever been woken up at night by a strange noise, and written it off as the wind, or just said that it was nothing? I feel like that is what Heidi is doing with her whole relationship. Except that strange noise is what I hesitate to call a man, who sits around all day and does nothing. Heidi needs to snap out of it… take off the rose-colored glasses, perhaps get a visit from the ghost of bad-boyfriends-past, whatever. She just needs to see who she is really dating.

So that is where you come in. If you have any connections to Heidi Montag, please clue her in. I am begging you. On behalf of moms and future moms everywhere, break these two lame-os up!

Love and Heartbeams,


Apparently, a lot of people were really upset by my comments on Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s accessories. I got a lot of comments, most of which I have decided (using my first ammendment rights) to not approve. Some, however, were too good to leave unpublished, and those sparkling pieces of enraged babble are below:

  • I guess Johnny Versace would be the ideal VP candidate if he weren’t pushing up daisies.
  • Do you get paid for this trivial banter?
  • youre fu**in retarded
  • Stop being dumb or spreading rumors.
  • Please leave the country, quickly.

And this one is my favorite. Listen up, boys:

  • now there is actually a politician that us men can swoon over…a governor, a former mayor, a gun owner, hunter, fly fisher,and one incredibly gutsy gal! I would love to see her do a spread for Playboy, but that would be wishful thinking. What’s a Banana Clip?

I am about to wax political, so if that is a problem for you, rest assured I will be writing about celebrities and random crap again soon. So, here goes nothing…

John McCain has announced Sarah Palin of Alaska as his running mate in the upcoming election. I pride myself on having an open mind, but Palin did something so appalling and inappropriate at her public appointment, that I don’t think I can ever take her seriously as a driving force in this country’s governmental process.

She wore a banana clip to her coming out party.

You can’t see it in the picture, but trust me it is there. Do you really want a vice president who wears banana clips? In public?

Furthermore, she wore glasses on the cover of Vogue.

I am all for four eyes representing, but on Vogue… really? That screams of blasphemy, and I am not okay with it.

I’m done.

PS- I know the Vogue cover is fake… duh.

This is what Heidi Montag thinks she looks like:

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