April 2008

I bet you guys didn’t know that I love music videos. Lately, I am obsessed with French? directing duo Jonas & Francois. Their latest vid (yes, vid) is Madonna and Justin Timberlake’s “4 Minutes to Save the World,” but they also directed Kanye’s “The Good Life,” and Justice’s “D.A.N.C.E.” All of these videos are posted below, and it is up to you to figure out which is which. Woot!

I think the amount of Sex and the City a person watches is directly proportionate to the amount of sex they have. The more SATC, the less sex, and vice versa. Think about it. What is less sexy than a show about shoes, a city, and girls obsessed with being married? It’s like people know at 11pm every night you are watching TBS, when you should be going out on the town.

Suffice to say, I have been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately.

My sister got married this past Sunday. Here is the toast I delivered at her wedding. I am not quite sure if people knew how to take it.

When I asked Ilana about what I should say during this toast, she said it doesn’t matter as long as I don’t embarrass her. Usually, staying true to my job as a younger sister, I would ignore her request, however today is her special day. So, for the first time in my life, I will attempt to appease her.


Out of love for Ilana, I won’t talk about the time she fainted in San Francisco or when she burned her upper lip with moustache removal cream. I will keep the time she got caught canoodling at the JCC a secret, as well as her childhood obsession with clowns and ponies. I wouldn’t dream of telling you that she pretended to play the flute in her high school marching band, can’t cook oatmeal, used to steal my underwear, or that she took our cousin to senior prom… on second thought, that was me.


I think it is fair to say that I am just as excited to get Dominic as a brother, as Ilana is too marry him, and because I am such a good sister, I will try not to embarrass him tonight either. We haven’t known each other for long, but I know that he wouldn’t want me to talk about his epic burps OR his pre-Ilana fashion sense.


I am certain, though, that both Ilana and Dominic want me to talk about how special they are to me. Ilana has always been a trailblazer, and never backs down from what she sets her mind to. We all know what I-Wana…I mean Ilana, wants she gets. And, as you can see by her choice of husband, she has always, for the most part had good taste.


Ilana is someone I continuously look up to, learn from, and unconditionally love, so I won’t tell you about her many years of braces, that we used to call her the accidental chicken, or that she fell into the cake at her Bat Mitzvah.


All jokes aside, you are my partner in crime, Ilana, and I couldn’t be more proud or lucky to call you my sister. You have always meant the world to me, and I hope that doesn’t embarrass you.

Yesterday, I was listening to CNN on the radio, and they were talking about how the Feds are going to be able to recuperate all the money they spent bailing out Bear Stearns. As the report went on, I found myself skeptical of the story, reacting the same way I do to a post on Perez Hilton or a segment on The Daily Ten. Now I know CNN isn’t the most reliable source of news, however I think my reaction is a problem that is shared by the public as a whole.

I don’t remember the days where people watched and read real news, but I think they once existed. The happenings of the world weren’t always presented by in glossy, jump-cut happy packages, and old-school news was delivered by anchors who could be ugly without consequence and would never use a glitter wipe to keep the viewers attention.

Now I don’t mean to be a hoity toity smarty pants, but I wouldn’t mind going back to those days. As much as I love hearing about fashions from The Hills and contagious baby bumps, I wish it wasn’t so hard to find out about the stuff that actually matters. I guess I was (and am) actually interested in the Bear Stearns stuff, however I don’t speak financial-ese so I still know jack about it. If any of you can dumb it down for me, I’d be very appreciate. Oh…and if at all possible…when you explain it, don’t forget to use a glitter wipe.

1) Back Pain is felt in the back and can result from the muscles, bones, nerves, joints, or spine. The pain can last anywhere from two weeks to three months, and while there are many ways to alieviate the pain, it is a fact of life.

2) Jay Z or Shawn Carter hails from Brooklyn, where he went to school with Biggie and Busta. His nickname HOVA, which was made popular on The Blueprint’s Single “Izzo” is short for the word JEHOVA which some say means god.

3) The McDonalds McTreat Spot is a McDonalds dessert venture that only serves desserts and coffee. There are only three in the country, one of which my family went to yesterday.

So now we know that to dull the pain in my back, I can eat ice cream while not feeling super awkward about singing along with H to the IZZO. One.

A Dog

A Cat


Nobody puts Daisy in a corner.

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