Dear America,

Are you really eating this**:

and this***:

The Sliders from Totes Gross, Indulgent, everything is Fried-Days, are small hunks of beef covered in cheese and sauce served on a pile of french fries, while the Fiesta Platter from Tac-oh-no-look-at-my-freaking-huge-Bell-y is basically everything the “restaurant” serves covered in cheese and thrown on a plate with a giant burrito or taco. The nutrition facts for both items are conveniently missing from the interweb, however I am fairly certain that if you were stranded on a desert island, each of these dishes could probably provide you with approximately 18 days worth of calories and fat. I think the guilt involved with eating the Slide-right-on-to-my-mid-section-ers and the cardiac fiest-arrest platter outweighs the cheesy, beefy****, carby, potato-y, I am an American Dammit-y, goodness that is involved in each menu item. Not to sound like a b-r-a-t***** or anything, but I just don’t understand.

Love, Brianna

*Not hating on diabetes, just quoting SNL

**Not real picture of TGI Fridays Sliders

***Not real picture of Taco Bell Fiesta Platter

****Gross

*****More than I already do